Who is the Daftest?

Who is the Daftest?

Have you all had a nice rest this Easter? We have, apart from poor Kevin who has a lot of work to do.

Jane thought the weather was lovely on Easter Monday because she likes it to rain so that she won’t want to go out. When the sun is shining she wants to gad off and at the moment is ready for a good rest, so there we were relaxing and watching the rain and thinking we were glad we are indoors!

I did tell you all that the sun would disappear this week as we are off for a few days and again it didn’t let me down. I think the cold and rain has got to all our heads lately as we all seem to be competing for who is the daftest in our house.

Jane was busy trying to stuff a bucket into the fridge the other day, like you do when you live in our mad house. Then the other morning she was going upstairs at 5am into the living room to have her breakfast and get to work, when she decided to try and waken us all up by her next daft act.

Up the wooden hills

She carries her coffee in one hand and cereal in the other and apparently as it’s quite dark she counts the steps as she’s going up them. She got to the first ten where there’s a small landing turn to go up the rest of the stairs, but instead of going round the turn carried on trying to walk up invisible step number 11 that isn’t there!

‘Bang’ she want into the wall and the mirror, and managed to throw her coffee all over the staircase wall and tripped up into the bargain as she was busy climbing invisible steps. Then after making a lot of noise, she tried to get the coffee off the wall in the dark. When I went upstairs later, I thought that the light coming through the door was casting a sort of waterfall look on the wall as though rain was going down it. It wasn’t that at all, it was  pale cream, coffee coloured stripes which were still showing through.

But looking on the bright side, at least she didn’t throw her shredded wheat all over the wall as well or I don’t know what it would look like. When she told Kevin what she’d done he was just about hysterical from laughing at her as he couldn’t stop imagining her legs still climbing stairs that weren’t there!

Better get to Specsavers

All week we have all being doing and saying the daftest things, with Kevin telling me that I needed to go to Specsavers for an hearing aid, after keep saying daft things because I couldn’t quite tell they were saying.

It doesn’t help when you’ve got bells ringing in your ears and whistling going on in your head all the time like I have, but they will just have to stop mumbling (Jane: kettle calling the pot black!). At least it makes them laugh at my Mrs. Malaprop conversations!

Of course they had to make fun of me the other day as we were having a coffee and I was eating some popcorn. I can tell you that it’s not a bright idea to eat popcorn or anything else for that matter when you suddenly start coughing as I did. When I sneeze or cough I do it into the crook of my elbow or the top of my arm as if you cough or sneeze into your hands it becomes a prime site for passing bugs on as I’m sure you will know.

Of I went coughing and held my arm up and popcorn shot out of my mouth all over the sleeve of my top, again more raucous laughter as  I tried to take very wet popcorn off my sleeves!  Sympathy was in full flow as they all thought it was highly amusing and then when Kevin told me that I could have waited until I’d finished eating and not drowned everything in food, I knew that caring wasn’t coming my way any time soon!

Snip, snip

Then it was Derek’s turn. Again we were having a drink sitting at the table in the kitchen when Jane suddenly pounced on him brandishing a pair of scissors and a comb and told him out of the blue that she was thinning his sideburns as she said they were too bushy, which they were.

He had every excuse under the sun why he’d not done them himself, so off she went wielding the scissors. Now if you know Jane, you will know that she does everything at 100mph so Derek’s life started flashing before him when the scissors were dangerously close to his head. No wonder I thought, having suffered from various cuts to my ears when she’s been tidying bits of straggly hair up.

I did remind her he was on blood thinners and wouldn’t stop bleeding if she got too adventurous with the scissors, but no, she couldn’t stop once she started. Next came the hair in his nose, then his ears and eyebrows all got a touch of the cold steel as she brandished her scissors in the air. Then when Kevin came in with a piece of grey Velcro to stick on his sideburns and eyebrows in case she took too much off, we were all helpless with laughing at poor Derek. He didn’t look very amused as he saw his life flash before his eyes, but thankfully he emerged unscathed from his assault although we were hoarse from laughing at the pair of them.

That’s what you get in our house, there’s never a dull moment believe me!

A footnote…

Just a quick word of explanation, that things will be in short supply this week. We’re ‘on holiday’ but at he same time Jane and Kevin are busy swapping all of our Visit Fylde Coast websites to a bright, shiny new format.

They’ve been working on and planning this since Christmas and now, having finally got to the crunch, have hit a few speed ramps. Hopefully, they’re back on track now. As you can imagine it’s an enormous job so that’s what they will be doing this week (between trying to have some time off) so all normal updates/news/blogs etc are on hold until its done. 

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