She Flies Through the Air

She Flies Through the Air

You know the song that goes ‘she flies through the air with the greatest of ease’ well I did that just that on Thursday morning.

I was just coming out of the utility room when it happened. Where the carpet meets the floor tiles you have a brass door plate thingy, well my slipper literally just caught a small gap between both surfaces and off I went.

She Flies Through the Air

I absolutely soared full length through the air and landed across the kitchen door step and the corridor. Jane was in the kitchen at the time and said ‘oh mum what have you done now, I told you your trousers were too long’. There I was laid out like a lettuce and she was worrying about my trousers!

I pointed out to her from my morning nap on the carpet that my trouser leg was tucked into my slipper therefore I hadn’t tripped over it. In between clinging onto my right arm with the pain I said that if there hadn’t been a gap between the door tread and tiled floor I wouldn’t have caught my slipper in it, and I wouldn’t have looked as though I was trying to beat the best rugby player in the land by my dive and tackle, ending full length on the floor.

What have you done now?

Derek was upstairs at the time so he was no help and Kevin appeared a bit later to see me lying out on the corridor. ‘What have you done now’ he said, to which I could have given a good answer but thought better of it.

My right elbow had sort of scraped on the bottom bit of the door and I felt my arm being grated there. My already awful thumbs and wrists took another battering and my right hand also caught the full fury of the door as I dared to crash into it!

I pulled up my sleeve and there was immediately a lovely deep purple bruise there (Brenda would have loved the colour) so Jane said ‘have you just done that’ to which I thought well I hadn’t a bruise there five minutes earlier but she quickly jumped into action, got me sat upright on the floor and went to get her ice pack that she keeps in the freezer for her neck, don’t ask! As she put the pack on my arm and elbow it made the pain shoot up to a number 10 on the NHS scale, so then she brought a tea towel to wrap around it until the pain started to subside.

What have you done now? (part 2)

There I was, plonked on the floor in the corridor hugging my arm with what felt like a piece of ice that had been taken from the berg that sank the Titanic, when himself appeared. ‘What have you done now’ he said which is always the first thing the three of them usually say to me. ‘I’ve fallen’ I said so he asked me what I’d done and for the third time I told him what had happened.

I got the feeling that they thought my trousers were to blame as they are a bit long, well they would be wouldn’t they as I have managed to lose two inches in height somewhere. I wish they would give it back as I don’t like being small, but I’ve no hope there have I.

Anyway, eventually I got up and went and sat on the kitchen chair to gather my composure. I’m sure if anyone has had a fall, they will know it gives you a good old shaking up, which it did me. While I was busy trying to fly through the air, when I landed, it felt like the whole of my stomach, ribs and anything else you could throw in had been shaken up to the top of my head. Eventually it all seemed to sink back into place, what a weird feeling.

A nice cup of tea

My hubby made me a cup of tea for the shock bless him, while Jane carried on preparing the dinner which was going to be my next job. I sat there like the Lady of the Manor while Derek washed up and Jane was preparing food. Kevin had an inspection at the offending brass strip to see if my imagination had gone into overdrive and felt the gap that had tripped me up.

Without another word, he got his tools out and mended the offending brass strip. For good measure he added some silicone then propped it up in the doorway with an extending clothes prop to make sure it stopped down until it all set. I was just glad I didn’t go tripping up on that or else my name would have been mud.

Luckily I didn’t break anything, which was the first thing Jane said. So stiff, bruised and battered, like a good old martyr, I got myself up, shook myself down and carried on with the housework. It was though, nice to know there were people around me when it happened because it could have been so much worse. I really feel for people who are on their own and end up in a similar predicament, it must be awful for them.

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