Mr Nobody

Mr Nobody

I’ve been on a bit of a defiance game this last week as Mr. Nobody is still alive and well in our house. I bet you’ve all got a Mr. Nobody haven’t you, you know, the one who somehow manages to be invisible when he does things. For example not putting anything away.

Mr Nobody number one

Well this one has had enough of following people round and moving all the stuff that somehow becomes invisible to them. They know that it riles me and still carry on, not very thoughtful don’t you think. This has always been my bugbear and after 52 years of marriage to the main culprit, you would think he would have got the message by now.

Especially when I rant because things aren’t moved and are waiting for the picking-up fairy to appear. Yes that’s right, me. I’ve resorted to sticking post it notes on things that are left lying around to see if that makes a difference. Like ‘move me or else’ and I do think it has got better results than me keep nagging on.

Mr Nobody turns into a duck

The other day, I was washing up in front of the kitchen window when I saw splashes all over both panes of glass. Mmmmmmmmmm. That was me trying to stop myself from screaming the house down to tell the culprit to clean it off.

So I resorted to my note tactic. I stuck a bottle of window cleaner on the window ledge, along with a cloth and a note that said ‘hint, clean me’.  It was there quite sometime before Kevin made an entrance into the kitchen and stood in front of the window next to me. Would you believe he never even saw the note and bottle of window cleaner which was the width of the worktop away from him.

I said nothing at first to see if he would get the message. Now I know he has narrower eyes than the rest of us, but surely, I thought, he must be able to see that. In the end I gave in and pointed the bottle out to him. When ‘grilled’ to find out if he was the culprit he said no, but it might have been, he couldn’t remember!

‘It wasn’t me’…

Now I don’t know what you think but that sounds pretty much like ‘it was me’. Derek and Jane were acting daft, looking astonished and wearing the ‘would I do a thing like that and leave it’ face. Then there was the fact that without more ado Kevin picked the window cleaning bottle up and cleaned the windows.

While he was doing this, the cup of tea that I had made was sitting on the sink top so he decided to knock the whole, just-boiled and just-poured cup of tea everywhere, so what can you do but laugh. I think it must have been an accident as he wouldn’t normally do that to get his own back, but at least the cup didn’t break!

Mr Nobody strikes again…

Would you believe that the next morning the same type of splodges were again all over the window in the same place, and I mean a lot, not just a few.

Because I’m small, I can see all the dried-on water droplets on the full bottom half of the window. As they are tall, they only see the top so they happily splash away at the sink thinking it doesn’t matter because they can’t see them, unless they come down to my height and get a shock as to how many there are.  When I saw the spray of water again the day after, I just stood there in amazement.

When Kevin came into the kitchen I told him to bend down and look at the mess which had appeared again in the same place. He had a look, straightened up and said ‘I get it’ and without another word, he cleaned the window. I have to report there haven’t been any since then, so I wonder who had been happily splashing water all over for the maid to clean up!!

Mr Nobody and daughter

Derek holds the title for leaving the most things lying about, but as Jane is turning her dad more and more, she is a close second.

It drives me mad picking things up, I’m going to start piling ‘stuff’ on the kitchen floor. Kevin is tidy when he’s around me but Jane assures me he’s just as bad as them in the office and bedroom.

I’m the shining angel (of course) who puts everything away, because as I keep telling them, I have no one to pick up after me so I am disciplined to move my things as I go along. They all know how tidy minded I am, but still carry on. So if you’ve got any suggestions as to how to cure them, please let me know!!

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