Can you remember that last week I kept spilling things? Well I’ve just done another one.
I was making some salad when I cut open a vacuum pack of beetroot, which the men love, when just having cut the plastic all of a sudden a great spurt of the juice shot out of the packet all over me. I bet I couldn’t do that again if I tried as it went everywhere. It was on my face, sprinkled all over my top, the work top you name it I got it.
After screaming at the top of my voice and looking as though I’d been caught up in a massacre somewhere, I just stood there for a minute wondering what plan of action to take. Now as you will know, beetroot juice has a habit of sticking like glue and not coming off, so there I was trying to rub the blooming stuff off my jumper in case it ruined it and wouldn’t come out. I scrubbed and scrubbed but it still looked as though I had pink spots all over the place. What next I asked myself.
A much earlier blood bath…
It just reminded me of when I was younger and doctors used to come to the house when you needed them.
One day when Derek was at work and I was on my own I decided to have an apple which I dutifully peeled as you do (not because I was alone if you get me).
The only trouble was, I stupidly put the knife on the floor, and later I stupidly forgot what I’d done. I stood on the knife handle with my other foot which neatly sliced into the other foot if you are following me.
Blood gushed everywhere. It was like a fountain, and after doing all the things to stop it that I needed to do, with the blood still pumping out I rang the doctors. That was in the days when doctors would come out and never thought a thing about it, so up popped my doctor to see what was to do.
He had a look at my foot which was steadily bleeding and decided that it needed stitches, so what did he do, he pulled the gash open and the blood shot up into air like a fountain all over his shirt, tie and suit!
To say he wasn’t amused was an understatement, as he managed to growl out that he was just on his way out to a dinner (I thought he was a bit dressed up) and now he was covered in blood. I did feel a bit awful but he was a rather, shall we say, crotchety doctor who liked to scowl more than smile so a bit of me wondered naughtily if I was getting my own back!
Anyway, he got his revenge because out came the doctors bag, a sheet of newspaper went under my foot and off he went stitching away without any local anaesthetic. I had actually severed an artery which was why the blood kept gushing out. Without any more to do, when the first stitch went in I yelled, kicked my leg up and socked him one in the face!
Talk about comedy carpet, if it wasn’t so painful I would have laughed, but I certainly knew about it as all my foot and leg went black and yellow afterwards. Put it this way, nobody will ever stitch me up again without numbing whatever first!
So you can see that the beetroot squirting up in exactly the same way took me back to that day – but at least it wasn’t my blood this time!!
While I’m talking about my foibles, I had another miniature accident on Sunday morning.
I decided to clean the cupboards out in my bathroom, so being a bit on the short side out came the steps and up I went like a mountain goat to see what was squirrelled away on the top shelves.
All was well until I dropped something on the floor as I was putting things back, so down I swooped to pick it up and lo and behold there was an almighty bang and crack. Put it this way, it was so loud Jane came running in from the kitchen to see if I had fallen off the steps.
No I hadn’t, but on my way down to pick the ‘thing’ up, I cracked my head full force on the bathroom sink which made me see stars, believe me, I don’t think I could have clonked it harder if I’d tried.
Derek also came to see what I’d done while Jane went off to the freezer to get a bag of peas and a chair for me to sit on while I came round. Result, one big purple lump on my forehead, which as it’s the third time I’ve cracked my skull, I hope that things do go in threes and it’s the last!
I said to them that if I had an X-ray I bet my head would be full of cracks where I’d walloped it so many times. Anyway, when I’d had a minute I carried on with what I was doing while hoping I didn’t do any more stupid antics. After all, they do say that most accidents are in the home and I’m living proof of that!
I’m sorry if you read this at the end of the last blog (and the one before), but it’s important so I’m going to keep repeating it for those who haven’t seen it yet.
If you rely on Facebook to tell you when the next episode of my blog is online, you need to know that they’re changing the way they show you news.
They are reducing the posts that you see from ‘Pages’ (the ones that you ‘Like’) in favour of posts from friends and family and Groups (that you ‘Join’)
This is their blog post on the subject:
Jane has set me a new group up so that hopefully you’ll keep seeing my posts. Even if you already like my Facebook page, please join the group until we all see what effect this latest change is going to have. It also means that we’ll be able to talk to each other more easily too – which will be nice.
Join Chrissie Bloggers new Facebook group – at this link www.facebook.com/groups/ChrissieBlogger
The very best way to make sure you catch all of my posts is to get your own Visit Fylde Coast email newsletter.
The previous weeks blogs are all linked on there, along with loads of other interesting things and the coming week’s events list too. Sign up for your email newsletter here http://bit.ly/vfc-signup
We’ve got the same problem with all of our Visit Fylde Coast Facebook pages, so Jane has set up a new group so that our community can continue. Please tell everyone who you know to join it:
Join the Visit Fylde Coast Group – www.facebook.com/groups/visitFyldeCoast