Fetch the Fire Brigade

Fetch the Fire Brigade

After yesterday’s blog where I told the tale about Jane and her attempts to poison the family, I thought I’d better confess about how I tried to set fire to them yesterday, after all it’s only fair that I tell my acts of daftness don’t you think?

It starts with a premonition

Anyway, it was quite strange really because as I’ve mentioned before in my blogs I often have instincts about things going to happen before they do, sometimes scary sometimes not but anyway. There I was on Wednesday waiting by the microwave for the apple sauce to cook when I thought to myself, I wonder how much longer this will go on for.

We’ve had the microwave more or less since we bought the house 19 years or so ago, so I was thinking it doesn’t owe us anything as my mum used to say, as it’s seen us through thick and thin. It’s a combination oven and grill as well so was a big help when we were up to the neck in alterations etc and couldn’t get in the kitchen. Or should I say when we hadn’t got a kitchen! This is what we moved in to!

Our kitchen when we bought the house

There I was waiting for the ping to tell me it was ready and yesterday I wished I hadn’t thought about it going ‘funny’ because I made it do just that.

Senior moments

There I was rushing about like a lunatic as I usually do, seeing to the washing, preparing veg, dog food our food all the things you do in a morning, well I do anyway I don’t know about you. I’d decided we were having some finny haddock in cheese sauce which was in the freezer, but I forgot to take the fish out of the freezer to defrost the night before, it’s an age thing you know what I mean.

Fish in cheese sauce

First thing in the morning I took the fish out which was so solid I could have killed someone if I’d had the fancy to do so, but anyway, I plonked it on the top of the radiator to thaw while I was busy doing a dozen jobs like we women do!

It’s a love affair

I kept turning it over and over and as the two pieces of fish in two packets must have been having a love affair with one another as they wouldn’t separate for love nor money, so I decided to take drastic action as I knew with one fish on top of the other it was possible the middle of them both might be still cold. OK so far, it was then that I went haywire, literally.

Anyone for toast?

I took the two packets of fish into the utility where the microwave lives and put one packet in to defrost then set the buttons and off we go. Within three or four seconds I did wonder who was making toast as there was such a lovely smell of toast wafting about. I turned round and looked into the kitchen to see if anyone had gone past me and made some, which would be nothing unusual in our house at all times of the day!

…or something smoked?

I turned back to the microwave and the lovely yummy toast smell was starting to turn into a strange plastic smell when all of a sudden like a thunderbolt from the sky, it dawned on my dozy brain that I had committed the ultimate microwave sin.

I’d put the fish in in its packet with the underside being tin foil! Need I tell you what happened next?

Yes, I opened the door as quickly as I could to be met by smoke pouring out of the blooming thing and my did it smell awful. Gone was the mouth watering image of hot toast slathered in butter to be replaced by granny’s socks boiling dry in a pan! There I was wafting away with anything I could find while shouting up to the office that I thought I’d just about set the microwave on fire.

No stampede of feet to rescue this maiden in distress, but Jane did come down to see what I’d done.

I think the men must have thought ‘she’s off again’ and ignored me, so when Jane saw what I’d done she said ‘you have gone and done it haven’t you’ so there I was with this sheepish look on my face that said that at my age I should have known better, but maybe it was my age that caused me to forget not to put tinfoil in it!

She pulled the microwave out and unplugged it so whether the poor faithful thing will work I don’t know but I know that I won’t be the first to switch it on! I dread to think what the men will say when they see it, and they did comment that the office was full of an acrid smoke smell!

But my defence is that I was doing too many things at once and juggling too many balls in the air and I am a tad oldish, ahhhhhh so lunch time will tell when they all coming stamping down to be fed (it did work, thankfully!). At least I am cooking the finny in the oven so thankfully I didn’t do anything stupid with that!!

Join in 

I’m sorry if you read this at the end of the last blog, but it’s important so I’m going to keep repeating it for those who haven’t seen it yet.

If you rely on Facebook to tell you when the next episode of my blog is online, you need to know that they’re changing the way they show you news.

Anytime now they’re going to start reducing the posts that you see from ‘Pages’ (the ones that you ‘Like’) in favour of posts from friends and family and Groups (that you ‘Join’) 

This is their blog post on the subject:

Facebook changes

Jane has set me a new group up so that hopefully you’ll keep seeing my posts. Even if you already like my Facebook page, please join the group until we all see what effect this latest change is going to have. It also means that we’ll be able to talk to each other more easily too – which will be nice.

Join Chrissie Bloggers new Facebook group – at this link www.facebook.com/groups/ChrissieBlogger 

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The very best way to make sure you catch all of my posts is to get your own Visit Fylde Coast email newsletter. 

The previous weeks blogs are all linked on there, along with loads of other interesting things and the coming week’s events list too. Sign up for your email newsletter here http://bit.ly/vfc-signup

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