Crash, Bang Wallop

Crash, Bang Wallop

What a morning I had yesterday. Jane went out at 8am to go to the StayBlackpool trade fair at the Winter Gardens where was all day, so the men were upstairs working in the office when I went out to feed our donkey’s-years resident seagulls, Homer and his wife.

Homer, waiting for breakfast

Our garden at the back slopes downhill so we have a couple of steps and a path and then some more steps to get you to the bottom of the garden. It was raining quite heavily at the time, and there I was merrily going on the path when all of a sudden, I must have decided to try trampolining without a trampoline as my feet skidded on the wet, mossy path and up in the air I went. It’s a shame I didn’t have a video on me as I must have looked a right sight with my feet now upside down before I crashed the left side of my head onto the path while scraping my arm and hand on the path on the way down and landing in a heap on the very muddy lawn!

I didn’t know whether I was on this earth or Fullers as the saying goes, as my head smacked crash bang wallop onto the path and literally bounced back off it. There I was in a crumpled up heap shouting ‘Derek, Kevin, I’ve fallen’ but when nobody answered after several attempts I thought to myself, Chrissie get yourself up and get in the house while hoping nothing was broken on the way.

Eventually I got up the steps and into the house where again I shouted ‘Derek I’ve fallen’ when all of a sudden they both stampeded down the office stairs to see what I’d done. My hand and arm were grazed and bleeding as my head and the left side of my body took the full impact of the fall, so as I was completely covered in sludge, and thick sludge too, Kevin got me into the kitchen and fetched a dust sheet for me to sit on one of the chairs as I was so wet and dirty.

They both went into overdrive and I smiled to myself, although I wasn’t in the mood for laughing, when Kevin was busy looking up brain injuries! Well looking on the bright side, at least he thought I’d got a brain there to injure, but he set Derek on making a cup of sweet tea, the good old fashioned remedy for shock, although my poor hubby and Kevin looked more in shock than I did, especially as Jane wasn’t there and they were left to cope with me!

When they decided I wasn’t needing some splints and my brain seemed to be still working, Kevin told me to get my wet, sludged up clothes off in the kitchen, as I was far too dirty to go on the carpets. At least there wasn’t any stripper music on while I was doing this, thank goodness, so I scooted off to the bedroom to find some more clothes. The maddening thing was that I’d put everything on clean that morning, even my pinny was clean, and now everything was filthy. Kevin sprinted into action and put them in a bucket to soak but I will be surprised if the sludge and moss comes out of my lovely pink top, one of my favourites!

They both had me sitting down for a while and my dear hubby got the washer and tumble dryer empty ready for the next load as the washer was also on, then I was given strict instructions not to move so I had a sit down and by now everything was starting to stiffen up, but not for long as I knew they had to work so I did a few bits in the kitchen to get myself going, a bit like cranking an engine with a starting handle (that’s what they had to do in the olden days) and off I went.

I must say that it did knock the stuffing out of me, so when I mentioned ironing at lunchtime I got a resounding ‘no you’re not’ so I said that I wasn’t leaving them for Jane to do when she got back after tea. Not a lot of noise from Derek but Kevin jumped in and said he was doing them.

As it’s about the second time he would have ironed, I did think it would be interesting, especially as he’d never used our iron which is one of those with a tank of water and lots of steam (and excellent they are too), but he wasn’t going to be moved, so I told him what to do and off he went.

With some directions from me he did very well for a novice so maybe I could retire from my job and let him take over, although I don’t think that would be very popular somehow! At least they were done out of the way and as I was starting to feel as though I’d been hit all over with a baseball bat I was glad really that he jumped to my rescue.

I didn’t tell Jane as I didn’t want her worrying while she was out and couldn’t do anything, but at least I can stand up even though I feel as stiff as a crutch as they say in Yorkshire!

Join me on Facebook at Chrissie Blogger and on Twitter @ChrissiesBlog

A Grand Show

Footnote from Jane: It was lovely to meet so many of you yesterday at the StayBlackpool show, we had a great day and talked the hind leg off a (Blackpool) donkey – nothing new there then!

It was also nice to find out that a lof of you read Chrissies Blog too, so if I said hello to you, you can now put a face to at least one member of the family 🙂

StayBlackpool Show 30 March 2017

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *